I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
