it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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