At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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