Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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