I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
