Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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