either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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