just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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