Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
