I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
