this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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