I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you would pick up someone in the library
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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