so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
