Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
