i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
