Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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