Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
