He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
