Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
