I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
