he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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