Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
