True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
