Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
