i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
