Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
