You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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