ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
