can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
