Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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