eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if only i could text you this smell
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
