Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
