Porn is love you can see.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
