thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
