He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
