we have pet lesbian snakes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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