After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
