before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
