I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
