Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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