i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
