yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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