You're completely useless in the revolution.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
