It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
