Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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