walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
