Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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