I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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