He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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