dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
